导读:尽管这个时代的许多原住民声音已被历史遗忘,但仍有一些幸存下来。来自希达察族的Waheenee在选文110中哀叹“我们印第安人的道路”的丧失,以及她在“白人学校”长大的儿子如何教导族人“走白人的路”。
选自《一个印第安女孩对吉尔伯特·威尔森的自述》
I am an old woman now.
我已经是一个老妇了。
The buffaloes and black-tail deer are gone, and our Indian ways are almost gone. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I ever lived them.
水牛和黑尾鹿都已经难觅踪影,我们的印第安生活方式也是如此。有时我甚至很难相信我曾以那样的方式生活过。
My little son grew up in the white man’s school. He can read books, and he owns cattle and has a farm. He is a leader among our Hidatsa people, helping teach them to follow the white man’s road.
我的小儿子在白人学校里长大。他能够读书,而且他养牛,拥有一座农场。他是我们希达察族的领袖,帮助教导族人们跟随白人的道路。
He is kind to me. We no longer live in an earth lodge, but in a house with chimneys, and my son’s wife cooks by a stove.
他对我很好。我们不再住在土屋(earth lodge)中,而是住在一幢带烟囱的房子里,我的儿媳在炉子上做饭。
But for me, I cannot forget our old ways.
但对我来说,我无法忘记往昔的生活。
Often in summer I rise at daybreak and steal out to the corn fields, and as I hoe the corn I sing to it, as we did when I was young. No one cares for our corn songs now.
夏天时,我常在破晓时起床,轻悄悄地走向玉米地,一边给玉米锄草,一边对着它们唱歌,就像我年轻时那样。但如今没有人会在意我们的玉米歌了。
Sometimes in the evening I sit, looking out on the big Missouri. The sun sets, and dusk steals over the water.
一些傍晚,我会坐下眺望广阔的密苏里河。夕阳西下,水面之上晚霞渐浓。
In the shadows I see again our Indian village, with smoke curling upward from the earth lodges, and in the river’s roar I hear the yells of the warriors, and the laughter of little children of old.
在影子里,我又看见我们的印第安村庄,土屋上炊烟袅袅,河流咆哮中,我能听见旧时武士们的吼叫和孩子们的欢笑。
It is but an old woman’s dream.
但那只是一个老妇人的梦罢了。
Then I see but shadows and hear only the roar of the river, and tears come into my eyes. Our Indian life, I know, is gone forever.
于是我看见的仅仅是影子,听见的仅仅是河流的咆哮,而泪水涌上我的眼眶。我知道,我们的印第安生活已经一去不复返了。
(1921)